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Updated: January 18, 2022

Forgiving Yourself For Your Addiction

Everyone has done things in life that they regret. People who live with mental health disorders or addiction often struggle with self-esteem and self-worth. You may have done something that hurt yourself or others in the course of your addiction. Maybe you feel anger or self-loathing when you think about the past. If so, it’s time to let go of that self-hatred and start thinking about the future. Forgiving yourself can be the first step to becoming the person you want to be.

Why Are You So Hard On Yourself?

Like many people in recovery, you may be hard on yourself. People who struggle with addiction often carry guilt and shame.

Addiction can change who you are, how you act, and how the world perceives you.

Maybe you lied, cheated, or stole from others. Perhaps you acted out in a sexual way that made you feel ashamed. Addiction can poke a lot of holes in a person’s moral fabric. Remember – it’s a disease of the brain – and as such, it can change the way you act, react or feel about things.

You’re not responsible for your disease, but you are responsible for your recovery.

Powerlessness and Forgiveness

You are powerless over the past. You are powerless over your addiction. The only thing you can control is what actions you take in the future. And today, you are in recovery, being the best person you can be.

It’s time to stop beating yourself up and start letting go of the past. The future, after all, is a blank slate. In recovery, you can make better decisions. So, just for today, be the best person you can be. Remind yourself that you are doing this, even when you feel low.

Taking suggestions from others in recovery can help you begin to forgive yourself. Once you learn how to forgive yourself, you will also be more forgiving of others. But you have to let yourself begin the healing process and stay sober.

Being a Good Person, Just for Today

As a person in recovery, living a day at a time is a survival skill. So just for today, you can stay sober and focus on being the best person you can be.

You are in the process of changing. It won’t happen overnight. But by working in a recovery program and getting guidance from others, you will eventually not only learn to forgive yourself but also earn the forgiveness of people you’ve wronged. (Asking forgiveness from others is much later in the 12 steps.)

Be the best person you can be today – it’s what you can do. You don’t have to do anything more than stay sober and try your best to be a good person.

Be kind to people, hold doors for neighbors, and stay sober just for today. It’s okay to make mistakes – don’t give up! Every day sober is a new opportunity to learn to be the best person you can. Making mistakes is part of the process. How else would you learn?

Consider Sober Living

Sober housing provides an intimate, recovery-focused environment where you can focus on your well-being and future. You’ll learn to live a day at a time in a supportive, structured living environment.

If you or somebody you love needs structure and support in their living environment, recovery housing is an option. Call us to learn more about how it works at 760-216-2077.


If you or a loved one is looking for a safe and sober home in North County San Diego, call 760-216-2077. One of our caring members is ready to answer all of your questions.

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  •  Very Friendly staff and a great living facility

    My brother, we’ll call him James to protect his anonymity, came here after attending their detox and inpatient program. He’s had tremendous success and currently has over six months of sobriety!

    - Jeff Hanson

  • This is not your average sober living.

     My family has been reunited and we share a beautiful relationship today. By the Sea is the cornerstone of my recovery and I am forever grateful for the experience I have had with the people I consider my family.

    - Adam Herald

  • We highly recommend Mark and his facility.

    Mark answered a cold call from us when we were confused and desperate trying to help our son. Six months later he is transitioning to living on his own and we are thankful for Mark and the By the Sea community.

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