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Updated: January 20, 2021
How Guys Can Bond Without Drinking
Male bonding is something that’s usually portrayed in the media as living like a "tough guy.” Let’s face it; there are a lot of shows on television where men sit around, work on cars while swigging beer or heading on out to the bar. They say a sentence or two and then getting back to drinking.
Life isn’t very much like those portrayals, anyway. The world is diverse and full of people with a lot of different interests. You don’t need to drink to make friends or have closer relationships.
What To Do For Fun and Bond?
All that male bonding requires is having fun. In recovery, you’ll discover a lot about yourself, including new interests. A lot of guys return to interests they had before they started using drugs.
You might like to surf or ride your bike, for example. You may have been an amateur chef. Believe it or a not, a lot of people in 12-step rooms share similar interests with each other. In some areas, there are even running and marathon groups that have formed for people who are in recovery.
A lot of bonding goes on before meetings and after meetings. If you go to a meeting in the early evening, you’ll probably discover that there are people who like to go out for a few hours to dinner afterward. Or maybe you'll head over to eachother's homes to play video games.
So go ahead, make friends. It's not complicated.
Talking About Yourself
Talking about yourself may seem a little awkward when you’re hanging out with guys you’ve just met. Getting to trust others and become close to them can take some time. As a person new to recovery, you may feel insecure and lonely. These feelings and thoughts will change over time. Male bonding takes time.
One of the first people you’ll learn to trust in recovery is your sponsor. It’s usually recommended by “old-timers” that you choose a sponsor that is your own sex. (If you’re straight; LGBT people may feel more comfortable with the opposite sex.) So you'll start to trust and confide in a male regularly pretty early in recovery. That's a big part of male bonding.
You'll need to tell your sponsor a lot of things about yourself. You'll work the steps with them, call them when you feel like drinking or drugging, and generally let them get to know you pretty ewell.
As you stay sober a more extended period, you’ll know people from meetings quite well. After all, you will all be sharing to each other regularly. You’ll find that when you’re with people you trust, it’s easier to hang out and bond. And that’s how people really bond, anyway; by being honest and being themselves.
Sober Living Can Help
Many people find that it's beneficial to start life after treatment by entering sober living arrangements. In sober housing, you'll live with other guys who have the same goals. You'll also have support and structure to rely on when you need it. Call us at 760-216-2077 to learn more.
If you or a loved one is looking for a safe and sober home in North County San Diego, call 760-216-2077. One of our caring members is ready to answer all of your questions.