friends being tolerant and patient
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Updated: February 9, 2021

Learning Patience and Tolerance

Patience and tolerance are two spiritual principles that are encouraged throughout recovery. Patience is a trait that is very useful not only in recovery but for life in general.

Receiving Patience and Tolerance

When you first get sober, you will be a person who receives the benefits of patience and tolerance. You may not know how to act or need guidance at meetings.

Maybe you speak out of turn or on a topic that you have no experience with. It happens to new people a lot! You don’t know a lot about staying sober when you’ve got 30 days clean. So others might gently shush you and tell you to keep coming back! This is an exercise of patience and tolerance.

 Instead of lecturing you, people with more time sober will help guide you. This can be painful for you, and you may slip up or make a poor decision. Yet the 12-step room will still love you and welcome you back.

Patience and tolerance go hand-in-hand; you really can’t have one without the other. With these principles, you can act with love and kindness.

Becoming Patient

For many people, especially in the era of COVID-19, life has slowed down a lot. Things that once took an hour may take a lot more time due to fewer resources. You may have to wait in a long, socially-distanced line to get your medications or even get into the market to buy groceries.

Getting sober and doing detox also require a patient mindset. You’ll also have to tolerate the detox period – and other people in there with you – before you can go to a treatment center to get your help. You have to accept every delay and appointment. You stay patient because you hope things will get better, and you’ll get sober.

You may not even realize that you’re patient when you’re doing these things.

Being More Tolerant of Others

Once you get sober, you’ll become more tolerant of others as well as yourself.

In treatment, you may have other people in a group that get on your nerves or share an experience that you can’t relate to. Being patient and tolerance means you listen anyway. If it’s the person who is speaking that makes you feel less tolerant, try closing your eyes and listening as if you don’t know them at all. Pay attention to the message instead of the messenger.

When you are exercising patience and tolerance, you can become more open-minded. You’ll also start to give yourself a break and be less judging of your own mistakes. All of this leads to more peace and serenity. Recovery is a beautiful thing!

Sober Living Solutions

Living with others in recovery can help you continue your journey while in a stable, spiritual, recovery-focused environment. You can live close to the beach while reclaiming your life! Get in touch at 760-216-2077 to learn more about how we can help.


If you or a loved one is looking for a safe and sober home in North County San Diego, call 760-216-2077. One of our caring members is ready to answer all of your questions.

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  •  Very Friendly staff and a great living facility

    My brother, we’ll call him James to protect his anonymity, came here after attending their detox and inpatient program. He’s had tremendous success and currently has over six months of sobriety!

    - Jeff Hanson

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     My family has been reunited and we share a beautiful relationship today. By the Sea is the cornerstone of my recovery and I am forever grateful for the experience I have had with the people I consider my family.

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    Mark answered a cold call from us when we were confused and desperate trying to help our son. Six months later he is transitioning to living on his own and we are thankful for Mark and the By the Sea community.

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