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Mending Relationships With Parents in Recovery

Mending relationships with your father or mother is a struggle for many people in recovery. You may have caused your parents a lot of pain when you were using drugs and alcohol. Or, you may have had a difficult childhood and now struggle to have an adult relationship with your family. Whatever the case may be, it’s up to you to begin working on your relationship in recovery.

Recovering Your Relationships

No one has a perfect relationship with their family. It’s important to aim for progress, not perfection. You are powerless over other people’s actions. Beginning to heal these relationships is an essential step in life.  But you must be willing to be open to disagreements now and then. Take your relationships a day at a time.

Tips for Better Relationships With Family

There are many things you can do to help improve your relationship with your family. When you get to the 4th, 5th, and 6th steps, you’ll fo some hard work looking at your deeds and flaws. Until then, small things make a big difference.

  • Practice forgiving yourself. Holding on to guilt and shame gets you nowhere. Start by practicing self-care when you are feeling down. Read a good book, go on a walk, or take a long hot bath.
  • Stop comparing other peoples’ lives to your own, especially other family members. No one has walked in your shoes. You may be struggling right now, but you are exactly where you are supposed to be in life. Your parents are also probably struggling to understand your point of view, too
  • Enjoy time with family. Being with them is something that they will likely appreciate. Try to stay out of deep thought and instead try to enjoy being present.
  • Accept that no one, either them or you, is perfect. Sometimes you may harbor resentments against family members, or they may get on your nerves. It’s okay to have these feelings, but if your relationship is turning toxic, it’s time to focus on yourself. Don’t let anyone abuse you or manipulate you.
  • Take relationships a day at a time. Trust is something that people usually earn. You may have hurt a loved one’s feelings in the past. These are things you *can* make up for eventually. Offer more time to your parents. Help them with things around the house or invite them out for a movie. Bring them groceries. Call to check up on them.
  • Talk, but focus on listening. Ask questions, and don’t interrupt. Try not to argue every time you disagree with somebody. Instead, choose your battles wisely, and remember you’re powerless over their actions and reactions. You can only select your own.

These are just a few ways that you can start rebuilding family relationships in recovery. Just remember that your life is your own. Time sometimes also becomes a significant part of the healing process. As you stay sober, you’ll make new and better memories that will help fade the hurt of some of the older memories.

Aftercare and Sober Living

By the Sea Recovery is a sober living home in San Diego. Our level of treatment services is top-notch and evidence-based. We offer a safe and therapeutic environment to help our clients take the next step in their recovery and learn to live in a safe, supportive, drug-free environment. Learn more about our programs by calling us at 760-216-2077.


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