Mending Relationships With Parents in Recovery

adult father and son

Mending relationships with your father or mother is a struggle for many people in recovery. You may have caused your parents a lot of pain when you were using drugs and alcohol. Or, you may have had a difficult childhood and now struggle to have an adult relationship with your family. Whatever the case may be, it’s up to you to begin working on your relationship in recovery.

Recovering Your Relationships

No one has a perfect relationship with their family. It’s important to aim for progress, not perfection. You are powerless over other people’s actions. Beginning to heal these relationships is an essential step in life.  But you must be willing to be open to disagreements now and then. Take your relationships a day at a time.

Tips for Better Relationships With Family

There are many things you can do to help improve your relationship with your family. When you get to the 4th, 5th, and 6th steps, you’ll fo some hard work looking at your deeds and flaws. Until then, small things make a big difference.

  • Practice forgiving yourself. Holding on to guilt and shame gets you nowhere. Start by practicing self-care when you are feeling down. Read a good book, go on a walk, or take a long hot bath.
  • Stop comparing other peoples’ lives to your own, especially other family members. No one has walked in your shoes. You may be struggling right now, but you are exactly where you are supposed to be in life. Your parents are also probably struggling to understand your point of view, too
  • Enjoy time with family. Being with them is something that they will likely appreciate. Try to stay out of deep thought and instead try to enjoy being present.
  • Accept that no one, either them or you, is perfect. Sometimes you may harbor resentments against family members, or they may get on your nerves. It’s okay to have these feelings, but if your relationship is turning toxic, it’s time to focus on yourself. Don’t let anyone abuse you or manipulate you.
  • Take relationships a day at a time. Trust is something that people usually earn. You may have hurt a loved one's feelings in the past. These are things you *can* make up for eventually. Offer more time to your parents. Help them with things around the house or invite them out for a movie. Bring them groceries. Call to check up on them.
  • Talk, but focus on listening. Ask questions, and don't interrupt. Try not to argue every time you disagree with somebody. Instead, choose your battles wisely, and remember you’re powerless over their actions and reactions. You can only select your own.

These are just a few ways that you can start rebuilding family relationships in recovery. Just remember that your life is your own. Time sometimes also becomes a significant part of the healing process. As you stay sober, you’ll make new and better memories that will help fade the hurt of some of the older memories.

Aftercare and Sober Living

By the Sea Recovery is a sober living home in San Diego. Our level of treatment services is top-notch and evidence-based. We offer a safe and therapeutic environment to help our clients take the next step in their recovery and learn to live in a safe, supportive, drug-free environment. Learn more about our programs by calling us at 760-216-2077.

 

People coming from inpatient facilities often feel overwhelmed when returning to the “real world.” After all, treatment was a safe, quiet space where the addicted person was able to focus on their addiction, personal triggers, and other issues and learn to live without drugs and alcohol. Returning to everyday life can be jarring. Many people in recovery choose aftercare programs to help them adjust to their new life.

What Kind of Aftercare Programs Are Available?

Aftercare, like recovery, is built to help meet your needs. You have choices that can help you continue the building blocks of recovery. These include:

  • Sober living homes. These homes are structured and allow you to hold a job, attend outside therapy, and bond with others working toward the same goals. There are rules, but it’s not the same as inpatient treatment. You will probably have chores and other duties as they fit within your schedule.
  • Treatment center aftercare. Many treatment centers offer outpatient therapy to people who have completed their inpatient programs. Sometimes this is group therapy, but other options can include family therapy or individual therapy.
  • 12-step groups. Continuing to work your recovery program is the most important thing to do when you’ve graduated from treatment. You can’t do it alone, and 12-step programs are free, available, and highly effective. Most people who continue to use 12-step support groups after treatment can achieve long-term sobriety, even through life’s most challenging events.

 

Aftercare Helps You Stay Focused

Post-treatment life can be stressful and distracting from your recovery goals. Aftercare helps you continue to build new coping mechanisms. You’ll still be able to connect with peers, and you’ll be able to delve into deeper issues when the need arises.

Having a plan for staying sober after you finish your drug rehab is essential. You’ll need all the support you can get. Going to 12-step programs, working with a sponsor, and learning to live daily clean and sober are the bare essentials of continued growth in recovery. Other tools, like a sober living home, can give you the extra support you need as you start over in the world, free from alcohol and other drugs.

Interested in Sober Living?

Sober living is a great way to focus on your recovery as you begin to reclaim your life after treatment. You’ll make new friends, learn more about yourself, and have the comfort of living in a safe and sober environment. Learn more about your options by giving us a call at 760-216-2077.

When you finish a treatment program, you’re working towards changing your way of life. Staying clean and sober is the top goal, and many people feel anxiety about returning to their “old life” or place of residence. Aftercare can help you with the transition from treatment to life in the “real world”. Some people, however, think it’s better to try and do the “hard work” of staying sober on their own. You may wonder why you should go back to treatment after you’ve finished your inpatient program.

Here are four reasons why aftercare can benefit you as a person in recovery:

  1. Structure helps with recovery. Aftercare helps give you structure and re-affirms your commitment to yourself and your goals. Knowing you have a place to go and a schedule to stick with can help you remain responsible and accountable.
  2. Extra support. Life in the “real world” isn’t easy, no matter how long you have been sober. Daily life can be stressful, especially when you’re trying to put some of the pieces back together again. After all, long-term treatment is a reprieve from the rest of the world.
  3. Help with triggers. When you are in recovery, you can’t predict what other people will do or what troubles you are going to confront. For example, you may run into an old using friend while you’re out at the mall. If you have an aftercare program, you can count on being able to work out new ways to cope with triggers and how to respond to stress appropriately.
  4. Continued self-discovery. Human beings are complex, and in recovery, you’ll find there are many layers to yourself and your feelings. Aftercare can help you learn more about yourself and your feelings, thoughts, hopes, and dreams.

Recovery is a journey, not a destination. Some people decide that in addition to aftercare, they’d feel most comfortable living in a setting with structure and the support of their peers. Sober living homes can help provide a go-between treatment and independent living.

You can learn more about sober living options by giving us a call at 1-760-216-2077 to learn more about your options.

Active addiction can derail your life, no matter who you are or where you come from. Getting clean and sober is a welcome relief to anyone who has struggled with the extreme ups and downs of a substance use disorder. For most people, however, the problems of addiction aren’t left behind. As the saying goes, “Wherever you go, there you are.” Just because you’ve removed the substance abuse from your life doesn’t mean that you’re completely healed and done with recovery. Much work will remain when you leave your treatment center, and it’s up to you to get that work done.

Plug Into a Support Network

Above all else, your recovery must come first when you’ve graduated from treatment. This means that as soon as you leave treatment, it’s up to you to create a support network. This could mean starting an aftercare program, seeing a therapist, or going to groups for your substance use disorder.

You will also need to build support from the 12-step meetings you go to. Finding a sponsor that you like and trust is an important step that you hopefully completed while in treatment. Once out, this person can be a lifeline to meetings, events, and coping tools you need when you first get clean and sober. If you don’t feel comfortable with your sponsor at first, give it some time. There’s nothing wrong with getting a new sponsor if the one you initially chose isn’t a perfect fit.

 

Consider Recovery Housing

Not everyone is ready to go to their old home when they get sober. Some people just feel safer around others in recovery, and others may not want to go home to a household full of triggers where people drink and use drugs.

It’s time for you to do what helps YOU stay sober. If this means taking time to transition to your new life, then consider a sober housing situation. Sober housing is a great way to test your wings in recovery but still have discipline and accountability to others who understand what you’re going through.

If you’re interested in your sober living options, you’re in the right place. We also have aftercare programs to help you if you need them. Take the time to relax and settle down in a structured environment that still makes time for fun. Our sober living environment was built to give you a solid foundation as well as teaching you how to enjoy life in your newfound recovery. Give us a call to learn more about your options at 760-216-2077.

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