Self-care rituals are a great way to take time to nurture yourself this winter. Whether you love the holiday season or hate it, this year will be different than most. This is especially true for people in recovery who are navigating a different world. Today, you have the tools to help you stay sober. Self-care is an important tool, especially during a stressful time such as pandemics and the holiday season.
Self-care isn’t just a buzz word. It’s an important recovery tool that can nourish your body, mind, and/or spirit. Finding things that can help provide this type of relief is important throughout recovery. Self-care rituals can be powerful tools for confidence-building and long-term sobriety.
Many people find that self-care is best as a routine or ritual. Think about it: you get up, you shower, brush your teeth, and you get dressed all to face the day. If you don’t do this ritual every day, you might feel out of step. You’ll probably feel awkward if you stop doing part of your ritual, such as brushing your teeth.
When you were active in your addiction, you probably stopped carrying out your rituals. Addiction gets in the way of life-affirming activity.
But when you are sober, your morning routine becomes a ritual you do without thinking about it too much. That’s because it helps you prepare to face the day.
Here are a few ideas for morning self-care rituals:
- Go for a jog or jump on the exercise bike for 10-15 minutes. You’ll wake up and get your mind moving as well, helping your body regulate your blood pressure and releasing feel-good chemicals.
- Do yoga or meditate. Some people do better with quiet and calm in the morning, especially to reduce anxiety. Take the first 15 minutes of your day to nurture yourself in quiet.
- Journal your hopes or goals about the coming week or day.
- Take a walk outside first thing, sit down, and practice mindfulness meditation.
- Drink some tea or coffee. Savor it while you read the news, watch a few funny cat videos, or work on a crossword puzzle.
- Recite affirmations to yourself. What are you working on changing today? What kind of person are you working to be? Focus on positive statements about yourself, such as “I am a hard-working man who is learning to be open and honest.”
- Write and think about your intentions for the day. What do you want to accomplish? What general goals do you have for the day, too? Do you want to speak up more in class or work on being more humble?
These are just some ideas for getting started with your day. Planning and living with purpose is an important approach to living in recovery. You’re in charge of a lot of things, including your own actions and reactions. Work your program, and stay sober. Most likely, the best is still yet to come.
Consider Sober Housing
Are you or somebody you love interested in sober housing? Living among others who are also in recovery can provide a way to create new friendships and find community among others who are sober. Get in touch to learn more about our programs at 760-216-2077.
Every year, thousands of people who live in California get a DUI. It’s one of the most costly consequences of alcohol abuse, yet incredibly common. Many people in recovery initially get sober due to a DUI and stay sober because it improves their lives immensely.
Monetary Costs of a DUI in California
For fines and court costs, California DUI fines can cost you anywhere from around $400 all the way up to $5000, depending on your conviction. Costs of a DUI can range depending on the circumstance when you were arrested. Here are a few scenarios that can impact your fines:
- Is there a minor or person under the age of 14 in your car? If there is a minor, especially a person under the age of 14 in your vehicle, there can be additional penalties.
- Aggravated DUI, where you have a blood alcohol of more than .20%, which is two and a half times the legal limit, has much harsher penalties.
- If you’re speeding or driving recklessly, there are harsher penalties as well.
- If you're convicted of a felony DUI a $3,000 fine and a four-year license suspension.
- If you are charged and convicted of a 4th DUI, you face up to 18 months in jail and $15,000 fine.
- Any injuries to other parties or property damage will cost more money in fines as well as jail or prison time in addition to your DUI.
- If you’re under the influence of another substance, whether it’s marijuana (which is legal, but not to drive under) or cocaine, which is totally illegal, you will face charges for those and fines, too.
- Missing work due to jail time can cost your family a loss of income, and you will have trouble finding work once you have a criminal record. Bail money comes out-of-pocket too.
- Classes and/or drug rehabilitation also can cost additional money as well as time off from work.
Aside from fines from a DUI conviction, you will probably incur other costs if you’re charged with a DUI. If you have a job, you’ll have to pay for your own attorney, which can cost upwards of $1000. You’ll probably have to pay for your own transportation on public transportation, Uber, or taxi to get to work. If you can’t pay for these things, your family may have to help you pay them, or you will stay in jail until trial.
Getting Help for Alcohol Addiction
Alcohol addiction is a serious disease that can cause a lot of wreckage in your life. You don’t have to be alone! You CAN recover and learn to thrive in a community of people focused on recovery.
Sober living is a great experience where you can make new friends with others who share your goals and understand your experiences. Our residences are located in a walkable area with plenty of transportation and access to meetings.
Learn more about our communities by calling us at 760-216-2077.
Everyone needs a friend, and as you spend more time in recovery, you’ll find you have a lot of people you call when you need support. Supporting others is an important and productive way to give in recovery.
The 12-step world can be a big second family as you start to find your way without the use of substances. The experience, stories, and support that other people share with you is essential to making your way in life. You'll end up becoming part of a support network for others, too.
As time goes on and you begin to feel more confident with your new life in recovery, you’ll want to be able to give back to others. Supporting others is a great way to do that. But how can you make sure you’re doing it in a healthy way.
You’ll want to be cautious as well as supportive if the person you’re trying to help as been sober less time than you.
Keeping Healthy Boundaries
Make sure you set healthy boundaries in your friendships. If you become friends with somebody who does risky things, be wary. A friend who is in relapse mode may end up trying to take somebody with them. Offer to be a shoulder or a ride to a meeting, but never put yourself in a situation where you’ll be around drugs or drug users.
Let people call you, but if you can’t take calls at work, don’t. Turn off your phone if you’re sleeping or at work. Let new friends know which hours are best, and it’s okay to send a text message to you.
If you become friends with the opposite sex, be aware that there may be complications. 12-step programs often warn newcomers from getting into any romantic (or potentially romantic) relationships within the first year of recovery. Relationships can be thorny and complicated. When you care for somebody romantic, you won’t be able to focus on your own recovery. Take some time to get to know yourself.
You may want to limit your outings to groups of people, or “guy’s night” outings rather than spend time alone with the opposite sex. Most of all, try to make friends with people who have been clean and sober longer than you. Don’t surround yourself with newcomers. You need other people with more experience for support, too.
Consider Sober Housing
If you’re looking for an excellent place to take your time transitioning to “regular life,” sober living may be the right choice for you. In sober housing, you’ll learn to stand on your own two feet while living among others working on their personal goals in recovery. You’ll have space, structure, and support to help you continue the journey. Call us at 760-216-2077 to learn more about your options.
Are you defeating yourself with negative self-talk? Self-talk is the conversation you have within your head. Everyone has an “inner voice” that provides a narrative in daily life. For people in recovery, this voice can be detrimental. After all, when you arrive at drug and alcohol treatment or go through detox, you go through a lot of pain. Many people in recovery feel hopeless, sad, or fearful. The good news is that these feelings are just that, feelings. They’re not facts about what’s going on right now.
Changing your self-talk will help you live on a day-to-day basis rather than feeling bad and beating yourself up. (And will help prevent your mood from going from bad to worse.) Positive self-talk can also provide you with some great benefits.
Recognizing Negative Self-Talk
Self-talk reveals a lot of information about how a person may feel about themselves. You may suffer from low self-esteem or guilt. Or maybe you’ve let yourself and others down in the past. Maybe you simply think you’re no good at anything because that’s what somebody told you in the past. Here are a few examples of negative self-talk:
- “Why should I speak at this meeting? Nobody wants to hear what I have to say, anyway?”
- “I should just give up while I’m ahead. I’m no good at this, anyway.”
- “I’m not smart enough to get this job; I don’t know why I applied.”
- “I’m too stupid to figure this out.”
- “Why even bother exercising? I’m too fat to lose this weight; it won’t make any difference.”
Negative self-talk is how you reinforce negative beliefs about yourself. It’s not useful, and it’s really not an accurate reflection of who you are. After all, you are changing all the time in recovery.
Combating Negative Thoughts
Many people in recovery find new ways to change their self-talk as time goes on. The first step is that you need to recognize when it’s happening. Try wearing a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it every time you start thinking negative thoughts. Write down what you were thinking in a journal every time you’re feeling negative.
Once you know the negative thought you’re thinking, it’s time to think about examples of when you felt good about yourself. If you believe you are stupid, then how did you get an A in College Algebra? If nobody wants to hear what you have to say, then why were you invited to speak in the first place?
Trying writing down ideas that counter your negative thoughts onto note cards. Write them in affirmation-style.
- “I’m not stupid, I’m smart when I study and do my work.”
- “I can really do almost anything if I put my mind to it!”
- “I have a lot of things worth sharing with others.”
- “I am getting stronger every day.”
- “Just for today, I’m working hard on being a better person.”
If you need help writing affirmations, ask a therapist or your sponsor for more ideas. Affirmations can help you work on focusing on your strengths and believing in yourself. Try using them at least once a day, and pulling them out when you’re thinking negative thoughts.
Sober Living is An Option
Are you looking for sober living in the San Diego, California, area? Our programs are a great launchpad for people new to recovery who need time to transition to daily life. We offer options for housing and aftercare. Call to hear more about how we can help you by calling 760-216-2077.
Addiction is a family disease and affects more people than the addicted person probably realizes. Friends, spouses, parents, and children all may have struggles related to their loved one’s addiction.
When a person gets clean, their families go through several emotions just like they do. There are also a lot of fears and unresolved feelings caused by the addiction that need to be resolved. Families can play a large part in the recovery of a person with a substance use disorder. At the same time, they probably have a lot of questions and concerns about their loved one’s recovery.
A person with an addiction needs to focus on themselves and their recovery. Making amends and gaining trust back can’t happen overnight, just like addiction didn’t happen at night. Family members can’t fix an addicted person, and an addicted person can’t fix their family.
Getting Help for Family Members
If you’re somebody whose loved one is struggling with addiction and recovery; there are resources available. They may include:
- Support groups for families of people in recovery. Al-Anon, Codependents Anonymous, and other groups can provide vital support to your family.
- Online resources. There are many online support groups and forums where you can reach out and get help anonymously if you want.
- Family therapy. Many people in recovery will have a family therapy session available in treatment.
- Learning about addiction. Read books or articles about recovery. There are many books available for family members of recovering addicts.
- Individual therapy. Sometimes, a family member will need to seek individual treatment to learn about self-care and the recovery journey.
If you’re a loved one of somebody in recovery, accept help when it’s offered. You are not alone, and you, too, are worthy of love and empathy. Make sure that you take time for yourself. You can’t help anyone else if you’re not also helping yourself.
Are You Ready for Sober Living?
After drug treatment, many people in recovery choose to transition to sober living homes. Living with other people who have the same goals can help quell your anxiety and gain confidence when you’re new to recovery. Learn more about your sober living options and how we can help by calling us at 760-216-2077.