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Getting clean and sober is a great start in a new way of life, but it’s not the only step to happiness. When you first get clean, most of your focus is on learning how to cope with the whole world without the use of substances. You’re often told to stay away from people, places, and things that present danger to your recovery. This may mean avoiding people you’ve known for years through drug and alcohol use. It’s a difficult thing to do, but you’re worth it! And as you adjust to life in recovery, you’ll find you make new friends with similar interested. But how does somebody go about making new friends in recovery?
One of the first lifestyle changes outside of staying sober that you’ll make is getting yourself plugged into 12-step meetings. Here is where you’ll find a sponsor to help you work the 12 steps as well as building a reliable support network.
Staying clean isn’t a job to be done alone. You need a robust support network to lean on when times get difficult.
Making friends at meetings is an excellent start to building this network. But friendships don’t exist in a vacuum. Going to meetings alone isn’t enough to build a relationship. You’ll need to collect phone numbers and make an effort to reach out to others.
How can you get to know others in recovery outside of 12-step meetings? It’s easier than it may sound. Start going out with the group after meetings, if your schedule allows. Find out about events that are hosted by 12-steppers in your area. You’ll see flyers for events such as sober dances, camping getaways, etc. at your local 12-step groups. Make an effort to attend these groups and try to make friends with people who are more than a year sober. They have experience, strength and hope to offer you.
If you have trouble talking to people or are shy, try to make sure that you get a “service position” at your favorite meeting. This is an obligation that you fulfill weekly, and it may be as simple as making coffee or putting out literature. You’ll get to meetings earlier when you have a service position and, even if you’re shy, people will start to learn your name when you show up early every week.
If you’re worried you won’t have enough support after treatment, 12-step meetings are essential, but they are not your only option. Consider aftercare therapy groups and sober housing, which will give you support from peers who understand what you’re going through.
Sober housing is a great way to make friendships with others and live in an environment of supportive peers. Learn more about your options by calling us at 760-216-2077.
Everyone in recovery has triggers, which are small or large things that cause them to want to get high, drunk, or act poorly. These are things like situations or emotions (sometimes subtle) that caused you to use in the past. Because drinking or using drugs was your reaction in the past, when these situations happen to you as a newly sober person, you may feel triggered.
Here’s how triggers work. Sally is a newly recovering alcoholic. She might feel a desire to drink when she passes the bar she used to go to every Friday night. She may be triggered on payday, when she used to spend part of her paycheck on a trip to the liquor store. When Sally gets in an argument with her spouse, her first reaction used to be to take a drink to “calm her nerves”.
Now that Sally is sober, she has to learn to understand and cope with her triggers.
These are three big triggers for people who are new to recovery. Don’t let boredom, loneliness, or complacency grab ahold of you. Instead, share with others where you’re at in life. Go to as many 12-step meetings as you’re capable, and don’t pick up a drink or a drug. Take it a day at a time.
Some people know they need some extra support when they have finished treatment. Are you looking for a supportive, therapeutic sober housing arrangement as you transition back to the community? We can help you learn about your options. Contact us at 1-760-216-2077 for more information.
Denial can be one of the most distracting, dangerous and frustrating symptoms of addictive behavior. At any given time, a person who is using drugs may seek to minimize their use, or even deny actions that they have taken as a part of denial. Denial helps you put the "blinders on" and makes it hard to realize the harm your addiction has done to your life.
When you’re in recovery, denial still can lurk in the background of your mind. Learning to cope with it is an essential task as a person new to recovery.
You may recognize it as the “little voice” that nags you with things that are simply inconsistent with reality. For example, a daily heroin user may be so in denial of their disease that they tell themselves, “At least I’m not high all the time.” Or a person addicted to marijuana may tell themselves “I can’t be addicted to weed because it’s not an addictive drug.”
When you're in denial, your brain is trying to protect you by refusing to accept the truth about something that's happening in your life. It doesn’t want you to change, but instead, to accept the poor circumstances you’re living in.
While denial can help you cope a bit in times of stress, overall, it causes problems stemming from drug or alcohol use to become worse. That little nagging voice that tells you “it’s not so bad” is the part of you that doesn’t want to change. But change you must, or die you will, as they say in recovery. It’s time for your old self to “die” and denial to take a back seat to recovery.
Denial can be powerful. It can go away and return without warning. Unfortunately, you can’t control when and where it comes from.
You can, however, talk back to that little voice and tell it the truth. For example, if your drug use “wasn’t so bad” then why did have to get up and get high first thing in the day? Why did you spend so much time using and trying to get more of your drug of choice?
Everyone in recovery has a story. You may have been arrested, overdosed, or lost friends and families in the process of your addiction. When that voice crops up to tell you it wasn’t bad, it’s time to talk back. When you find yourself thinking “My drug use wasn’t so bad,” think of all the times you wished you could stop using. How bad did you feel?
Think about the negative consequences you’ve experienced. Were they really “not so bad”? When you’re an addict, things can get very bad, very quickly. What was your bottom like? Very few people would go to the trouble of going to detox, getting clean, and going to 12-step meetings if their drug or alcohol use caused no problems.
Whenever you find yourself in denial, talking to others can help bring you back to reality. When you listen to others speak about their experience, strength, and hope, it gives you a chance to relate to others in recovery. Everyone struggles with denial every once in a while. Remind yourself of the good things in recovery as well as the bad parts of addiction.
If you feel like using, call your sponsor or get to a meeting. Don’t let denial talk you into doing something that will hurt you.
Recovery is possible, no matter who you are or what your struggles are. Give yourself a chance. If you or somebody you love is struggling with drugs or alcohol, we can help. Call us at 760-216-2077.
Photo by Craig Adderley from Pexels
San Diego, CA – The Executive Team of Present Moments Recovery is pleased to announce the appointment of Sandra Richardson as the organization’s Executive Clinical Director. Present Moments Recovery is a privately-held company dedicated to substance use treatment programs in San Diego communities.
Richardson has been working in the alcohol and other drug field for more than 24 years in various treatment facilities, including for-profit and non-profit organizations, private-pay clinics, residential, partial hospitalization and outpatient treatment programs. She has vast experience working with law enforcement agencies such as probation, parole, juvenile justice, family law and public defender’s office serving various populations including women, children and male/female offenders. Most recently, Sandra has been working with veterans and wounded warriors.
“We’re extraordinarily pleased to have someone of her caliber and vast success in helping individuals recover and get back to living rewarding lives,” said Mark Gladden, CEO. “Her broad knowledge of substance use and family health issues coupled with years of experience working with treatment centers makes her well positioned to lead us going forward. She’s committed to our cause which is to support people’s healing process.”
As Executive Clinical Director Richardson will be responsible for hand picking and overseeing the clinical team for Present Moments continuum of care model, as well as developing individualized curriculum based upon both customary methods as well as cutting edge approaches.
Richardson has a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice from National University and a master’s degree in counseling, marriage and family therapy from University of Phoenix. She is a Licensed Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor with the State of California.
Learn more about Present Moments Recover by visiting our website at www.presentmomentsrecovery.com
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About Present Moments Recovery
Present Moments Recovery is a privately-owned business headquartered in Carlsbad, California with a mission to provide an individualized, multi-leveled treatment program that addresses the mind, body and spirit with compassionate, timely and effective treatment modalities. We do this by offering safe, nurturing, alcohol and drug free professional treatment and aftercare housing for men and women suffering with the disease of addiction. Present Moments Recovery supports industry non-profits for the good populations they serve to promote a greater access to treatment programs.
Active addiction can derail your life, no matter who you are or where you come from. Getting clean and sober is a welcome relief to anyone who has struggled with the extreme ups and downs of a substance use disorder. For most people, however, the problems of addiction aren’t left behind. As the saying goes, “Wherever you go, there you are.” Just because you’ve removed the substance abuse from your life doesn’t mean that you’re completely healed and done with recovery. Much work will remain when you leave your treatment center, and it’s up to you to get that work done.
Above all else, your recovery must come first when you’ve graduated from treatment. This means that as soon as you leave treatment, it’s up to you to create a support network. This could mean starting an aftercare program, seeing a therapist, or going to groups for your substance use disorder.
You will also need to build support from the 12-step meetings you go to. Finding a sponsor that you like and trust is an important step that you hopefully completed while in treatment. Once out, this person can be a lifeline to meetings, events, and coping tools you need when you first get clean and sober. If you don’t feel comfortable with your sponsor at first, give it some time. There’s nothing wrong with getting a new sponsor if the one you initially chose isn’t a perfect fit.
Not everyone is ready to go to their old home when they get sober. Some people just feel safer around others in recovery, and others may not want to go home to a household full of triggers where people drink and use drugs.
It’s time for you to do what helps YOU stay sober. If this means taking time to transition to your new life, then consider a sober housing situation. Sober housing is a great way to test your wings in recovery but still have discipline and accountability to others who understand what you’re going through.
If you’re interested in your sober living options, you’re in the right place. We also have aftercare programs to help you if you need them. Take the time to relax and settle down in a structured environment that still makes time for fun. Our sober living environment was built to give you a solid foundation as well as teaching you how to enjoy life in your newfound recovery. Give us a call to learn more about your options at 760-216-2077.
If you were asked at any point during your active addiction “why” you used, you probably said you did it for an “escape,” a “reward” or to relax. Both escapes and rewards are also ways people try to relax. Relaxation is a common reason people from all walks of life say that they use alcohol or drugs. Drugs and alcohol tap into the “reward” part of the brain, making people feel more relaxed and less stress. For people with a substance use disorder, their drug of choice is the only skill they know when it comes to relaxation. It’s challenging for some people to relax once they have gotten sober.
Sometimes people in recovery realize right away what their lives have been missing. If you quit doing the things you loved to do when you started using alcohol and drugs, you’re not alone. Substance use is a dream-killer because it keeps people from their passions and using takes over your life.
What did you use to do that you enjoyed? Even if you used drugs and alcohol for decades, you probably had interests. Maybe you loved to write when you were in high school, or perhaps you used to go jogging. Both of these activities can be therapeutic, helping you work out stress and anxiety.
Finding activities that make you feel relaxed should be a priority throughout your life. After all, having hobbies is rewarding and helps give you purpose as well as relaxation. There are many ways people relax. For some people, it’s just going for a walk, while other people may meditate or try yoga.
If you aren’t sure what any of these items are, you can Google them. You may notice that a lot of these activities involve exercise, some form of meditation, and creation. Finding things that you enjoy in these categories may take some time, but you’ll learn to enjoy yourself, let go, and have fun while you’re relaxing.
Living in a sober home can be a less stressful way to transition from treatment and start your recovery. Learn more about sober living and aftercare programs by calling us at 760-216-2077.
Stigma is one thing that keeps many people with a substance use disorder from seeking out the help they need. If you used “harder” drugs like cocaine, Oxy or heroin, then you may worry what people will think.
After all, there are a lot of negative images in the media that are associated with these drugs. And you, yourself, know that addiction is not fun and can lead you to do things that make you ashamed.
It can be very humbling to tell a loved one about your addiction, but it can be even harder to say to a stranger. Stigma, however, is something that all people in recovery face one time or another. Knowing how to confront stigma is an integral part of your long-term recovery.
The addiction-related stigma that you may face in recovery isn’t always just due to the drugs. You may have crimes like DUI’s or theft in your past. You may not have held a legitimate job for a while. You probably will have to explain these things to your employer, which means being prepared to be honest and open about your recovery and how you have changed.
This will be easier to do as time goes on and you've been clean longer. The best you can do it prove to others that you're a changed man, and explain to people, humbly, that you're in recovery to continue to grow and change.
Addiction has been identified as a disease that changes the brain, altering both how it works and how a person feels and behaves. The good news is that there is a lot of information on this online (the SAMHSA website is a good start) that you can print out for family, friends, and employers.
Society is slowly but surely understanding that addiction is a disease and that specifically, the opioid epidemic has made an enormous impact on people’s lives from every walk of life. Recovery is possible, but a difficult journey at times.
You’ve come a long way if you’re clean today. You haven’t had to lie, cheat, steal or go broke by using your drug of choice. Just for today, you’re clean. And your clean time, whatever it is, is a valuable asset in your life.
Just like you have support, others in recovery need your assistance to fight addiction to. Help others out when they are feeling anxious or stressed. Take time to get to know new people, and let them know what has helped you in your life.
As you stay clean longer, you’ll learn more about yourself and get more comfortable telling your story. You’re an essential part of the recovery movement, and your experiences will help others on a similar journey.
Sometimes it's easier to transition to the outside learn and gain confidence in recovery by living in a sober living home. In the presence of peers, you can focus on yourself and learn how to cope with day to day stresses. Please give us a call at 760-216-2077 to learn more about your options.
Many people in recovery from substance abuse disorders start discussing goals after they’ve been sober for a few months. The future is a little brighter, and there is more time to focus on what you want to do with your life. During active addiction, personal goals have gotten off track, sometimes completely. The ability to have goals is a good sign that your recovery is on track.
This means sitting down and doing a bit of homework to help you get familiar with goal setting.
Keep your goal list in your wallet or on your phone in case you need a reminder of what you’re working towards.
Having this list is just the beginning of a recovery journey. Knowing what want you want in life is an essential driving force for change.
Sometimes you’ll have to change your goals due to unforeseen circumstances. That’s okay, too. Life changes and we often have to adapt to that.
Achieving the goals feels great. Celebrate your accomplishments, big and small. And when you meet a goal, it’s time to set a new one.
Sober living can help you work towards goals while making your home in a caring, safe environment around other people in recovery. Many people choose to transition from treatment to “the outside” by taking advantage of sober living homes.
Learn more about your options for sober housing by calling 760-216-2077.
For a myriad of reasons, the holidays can be a difficult time for people in recovery. Not only are there a lot of feelings that come up during this time of year, but there are also some temptations to cope with if you're invited to a get-together. Parties with alcohol or marijuana use are now common, and there may be some family relations left to repair. How is a sober person supposed to cope with all of the challenges?
Millions of people stay sober during the holidays. One of the best ways to cope with all of the drama, feelings, and stress is to have a plan. You should share it with others and write it down. Keep it with you on the most stressful days so you can refer back to it:
Staying clean and sober during the holidays can be stressful for the first few years, but remember that if you’re recently clean, you have choices now. Don’t be afraid to choose to leave situations that make you feel uncomfortable. You also have the choice to reach out to your support network.
One thing that helps people in recovery stay on track is living with others who support their recovery. Sometimes that means you're better off living in sober housing until life is more stable. Being in a community of people working on themselves can help inspire you and support you as you chart a new path. Want to learn more about your options? Call us at 760-216-2077.
When you’ve been in recovery for a while, you find some stability and serenity that you didn’t have before. But sometimes this serenity is mistaken for boredom, which can be a big trigger for some people to use.
Once you’ve settled down into your recovery and have stayed clean for a good amount of time, what else is there to do besides work your steps, go to meetings, and call your sponsor? Things aren’t as dramatic as they once were when you were new. But there is still plenty of growth to work on, depending on your individual needs and tastes. You have a choice what to do to expand your horizons as a clean and sober person.
Here are a few suggestions to help you on your way:
Being clean is just a stepping stone to a new way of life. You have a lot of time to explore your world and find new ways to enjoy it. Don’t be too timid about finding new hobbies – and don’t neglect your 12-step meetings. Every day is a chance for something new.
Sober Living
Sober living is a great next step once you’ve completed a treatment program. Are you interested in living among your peers in a safe, fun environment as a part of your recovery program? Get in touch and learn about your options. You can call us at 760-216-2077.
